Almost Lost Read online

  “The children moved to the South of France, and the family didn’t need an au pair anymore.”

  Cassie kept it as simple as possible, hoping a dull explanation would prevent any further questions, because she didn’t want to have to lie to her friend.

  “I guess that happens. It could have been worse. You could have worked for that family everyone’s talking about where the husband is standing trial for murdering his fiancée.”

  Cassie looked down hurriedly, worried that her expression would give her away.

  Fortunately they were distracted by the arrival of the wine, and after they’d ordered food, Jess had moved on from that juicy morsel of gossip.

  “What are you going to do now?” she asked Cassie.

  Cassie felt ashamed by the question, because she had no coherent answer. She wished she could tell Jess that she had a plan and wasn’t just living day to day, knowing that she should make the most of her time in Europe, but feeling increasingly uncertain about her situation here.

  “I’m not sure. I was thinking of going back to the States, finding work somewhere warmer. Florida, perhaps. It’s expensive to stay here.”

  Jess nodded in understanding.

  “I bought a car when I arrived. Someone at the guesthouse was selling it. That took a lot of my cash.”

  “So you have a car?” Jess asked. “How awesome!”

  “It has been wonderful. I’ve gone on some amazing drives out of the city, but using the car with the gas and everything, and even day-to-day living, is costing more than I expected.”

  Hemorrhaging money without any prospect of earning income was stressing her out and it was reminding her of the battles she’d gone through when she was younger.

  She’d left home at sixteen to escape her violent and abusive father, and ever since then she’d had to look after herself. She’d had no security and no savings and no family to fall back on, because her mother was dead and her older sister, Jacqui, had run away a few years earlier and had never been in touch again.

  Living on her own had been a case of month-to-month survival for Cassie. She’d sometimes only made it by the skin of her teeth. Never mind having peanut butter at month’s end; it had been her staple diet when times were tough, and she’d gotten into the habit of taking restaurant or bartender work, partly because the jobs came with a free staff meal.

  Now she was panicking about living off a dwindling nest egg that was all she possessed in the world, and thanks to the cash that had been stolen today, that nest egg was even smaller.

  “You could look for a temporary job to tide you over,” Jess advised, as if reading her mind.

  “I have. I’ve approached a few restaurants, and even applied for bartending work at some of the pubs, but I got turned down right away. Everyone here’s a stickler for the correct paperwork and all I have is a visitor’s visa.”

  “Restaurant work? Why not au pairing?” Jess asked curiously.

  “No,” Cassie shot back, before remembering that Jess knew nothing about the circumstances of her previous job. She continued.

  “If I can’t work I can’t work. No visa means no visa, and au pairing is a longer commitment.”

  “Not necessarily,” Jess countered. “It doesn’t have to be. And I have personal experience of doing it without a visa.”

  “You do?”

  Cassie knew her mind was made up. She wasn’t going to au pair again. All the same, what Jess was saying sounded interesting.

  “You see, all the restaurants and pubs get checked regularly. There’s no way they can hire anyone without the right visa. But working for a family is different. It’s such a gray area. After all, you could be a family friend. Who’s to say you’re actually working? I stayed with a friend in Devon for a while last year, and ended up doing a few babysitting and temporary childcare jobs for neighbors and people in the area.”

  “That’s good to know,” Cassie said, but she didn’t have any intention of exploring that option further. Talking to Jess was cementing her decision to head back to the States. If she sold the car, she would have enough money to support herself there until she got back on her feet.

  On the other hand, she’d expected to spend much longer traveling. She’d been looking forward to a full year abroad, hoping it would give her the time she needed to move on from her past. This was her chance to make a fresh start in life, and to return as a changed person. Arriving back home so soon after leaving would feel like giving up. Never mind that other people would think she hadn’t made a go of it—she would personally believe that she’d failed.

  The waiter arrived, bringing plates piled high with nachos. Hungry, because she’d skipped breakfast, Cassie dug into the food.

  But Jess paused, frowning, and took her phone out of her purse.

  “Talking of part-time jobs, one of the people I worked for called me yesterday to see if I could help him again.”

  “Really?” Cassie asked, but her attention was focused on the food.

  “Ryan Ellis. I worked for him last year. His wife’s parents were moving house, and they needed someone to look after the kids while they were away. They were lovely people, and the kids weren’t bad either—they have a boy and a girl. We did lots of fun stuff. They live in a beautiful seaside village.”

  “What is the job?”

  “He’s looking for somebody for about three weeks, urgently, to live in. Cassie, this could be just what you need. He paid very well, gave me cash, and didn’t mind about the visa at all. He said if I had been accepted by an au pair agency I was clearly a trustworthy person. Why not call him and find out more?”

  Cassie was tempted by the prospect of cash in her pocket. But another au pair assignment? She didn’t feel ready. Perhaps she never would be.

  “I’m not sure it’s for me.”

  Jess, however, seemed determined to sort out Cassie’s future for her. She tapped keys on her phone.

  “Let me send you his number anyway. And I’ll message him now and say you might get in touch, and that I recommend you highly. You never know, even if you don’t work for him, he might know someone who needs a house sitter. Or a dog walker. Or something.”

  Cassie couldn’t argue with her logic, and a moment later her phone buzzed with the arrival of Jess’s message.

  “How’s your work going?” she asked, once Jess had finished her messaging.

  “It couldn’t be better.” Jess piled guacamole onto a tortilla chip.

  “The family is lovely. They’re very generous with time off and keep giving me bonuses. The kids can be naughty but they’re never nasty and I think they enjoy me, too.”

  She lowered her voice.

  “Last week, with everyone arriving for the wedding, I was introduced to one of the cousins. He’s twenty-eight and gorgeous and he runs an IT support business. I think he likes me, and let’s just say it’s fun to be flirting again.”

  Even though she was glad for her friend, Cassie couldn’t help feeling a pang of envy. This dream job was what she had secretly hoped for. Why had everything gone wrong for her? Had it only been bad luck or was it, in some way, because of the decisions she had made?

  Cassie suddenly remembered what Jess had said to her on the plane to France. She’d shared with Cassie that her first assignment hadn’t worked out, so she’d ditched it and tried again.

  Jess had only gotten lucky on the second try, and that made Cassie wonder if she was giving up too soon.

  When they had finished their nachos, Jess checked the time.

  “I’d better run. Harrods is waiting,” she said. “I’ll have to buy gifts for everyone back home, and for the children, and for the gorgeous Jacques. What should I get him? What do you give someone you’re having a flirtation with? It may take me a while to decide!”

  Cassie hugged Jess goodbye, feeling sad their lunch was over. The friendly chat had been a welcome distraction. Jess seemed so happy, and Cassie could see why. She was needed and valued, she was earning money, she h
ad a purpose in life and was secure.

  Jess wasn’t drifting around on her own, lonely and jobless and paranoid about being hunted down because a murder trial was starting.

  A few weeks in a remote village might be exactly what she needed right now, in more ways than one. And Jess was right. The phone call could lead to other opportunities. She’d never find them if she didn’t keep trying.

  Cassie headed out of the crowded pub to find a quiet corner, glancing around in case any pickpockets or phone grabbers were passing by.

  She took a deep breath, and before she could think too hard about it and lose her nerve, she dialed the number.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Holding her phone tightly, Cassie moved closer to the wall to shelter from the drizzle. Now that she’d dialed Ryan Ellis, she was feeling more and more nervous.

  She had to earn money somehow if she wanted to stay in the UK for longer, but after what she’d been through in France, was au pairing the right decision? Even if the job sounded ideal, would he be prepared to accept her with so little experience and no real qualifications?

  Cassie imagined gathering her courage to ask if she could take the job, only to be given a shameful “No” in response.

  The call rang for so long she feared it would go to voicemail. At the last possible moment, a man picked up and answered.

  “Ryan speaking,” he said.

  He sounded out of breath, as if he’d had to run for the phone.

  “Hello, is this Ryan Ellis?” Cassie asked.

  She cringed at the obviousness of her question, but she didn’t know him at all and it felt wrong to say, “Hi, Ryan.”

  “Yes, that’s me. Who’s calling, please?” He didn’t sound irritated, but rather curious.

  “My name’s Cassie Vale and I got your number from my friend Jess, who worked for you last year. She mentioned you were looking for someone to help out with your children for a while.”

  “Jess, Jess, Jess,” Ryan repeated, as if trying to place the name, and then, “Oh, yes, Jess from America! I see she’s just sent me a message. What a lovely lady. Did she recommend you? Is that why you’re calling? I haven’t read the message yet.”

  Cassie hesitated. Was she going to say yes? To do so would be making a commitment, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to take that step yet.

  “I’d like to know more about the job,” she said. “I was au pairing in France but my assignment’s ended. I’ve been thinking of doing something short term, but I’m not sure at this stage.”

  There was a short silence.

  “Let me fill you in. I’m desperate at this moment. I’ve just been through a divorce, which has left me pretty shell-shocked. The kids won’t even speak about what’s happened and need someone to cheer them up and have fun with them. On top of it all, I have a massive work project, with a deadline that’s taking up all my time.”

  Cassie was shocked by Ryan’s words. She hadn’t expected him to be in such a serious predicament. No wonder he was desperate for somebody to help out.

  The divorce must have been traumatic if it had affected the children so badly. She guessed if Ryan was looking after them, his wife must have left him, probably for somebody else.

  She had no idea what the right response would be.

  “That sounds very stressful,” she said eventually, to fill the short silence.

  “I’ve been phoning around, because I haven’t had a chance to advertise the job, and I’m feeling so muddled I don’t think I’d be especially good at screening anybody new. Everyone who’s worked for me before has been unavailable. I don’t mind telling you, I’m stuck for help. I’m prepared to pay triple the usual rate, and the job will be for maximum three weeks.”

  “Well—” Cassie began.

  She couldn’t bring herself to say no. It would be callous when this man was in such dire circumstances. She felt sorry for him and felt it would be selfish to refuse the job outright. They were clearly desperate for help, and the good money, combined with the short timeframe, was tempting.

  “Why not come and meet us?” Ryan suggested. “Do you have a car? If not, I can fetch you at the station. I’ll pay for your ticket, of course.”

  “I have a car,” Cassie said.

  “That makes it very easy and it should take around five hours if traffic cooperates. I’ll message you the address now, and refund you for the trip if you don’t like us.”

  “All right. I’ll leave tomorrow morning. I should be there by lunch time,” Cassie said.

  She disconnected, relieved that she would have a chance to spend time with the family before making up her mind. If she liked them, she might have an opportunity to make a real difference in their lives, offering help and support during a difficult time.

  When Ryan had told her that he was recently divorced, she hadn’t expected to feel so much sympathy for him. Growing up in a home filled with conflict, and losing her mother at a young age, she understood what it was like. This was a situation where she knew she could be valuable to the family.

  Leaving home as a desperate, scarred sixteen-year-old, she had been determined to follow in her sister’s footsteps and get away from her father’s abuse forever. But after escaping from his angry dominance, she’d ended up in a damaging relationship with her toxic boyfriend, Zane. Then, traveling to France to get away from Zane had landed her in the biggest nightmare of all.

  Out of town, in a remote coastal village, she’d be safely tucked away and would be able to experience a family environment where she felt needed, which was one of the main reasons she’d wanted to au pair in the first place.

  Cassie hoped she could use her time there to heal.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The trip to Ryan Ellis’s house took Cassie longer than she’d expected. It seemed impossible to avoid the heavy traffic that clogged up the highways on the drive south, and there were two sections of road works where she had to take a lengthy detour.

  The extra time on the road meant she almost ran out of gas. She had to use the last of the money Jess had loaned her to top up her tank. Worried that Ryan would think she had changed her mind, she messaged him to apologize and say she’d be late. He’d replied immediately saying, “No problem, take your time, drive safe.”

  Once she’d left the highway and headed into the countryside, the views were idyllic. She craned her neck, staring over the trimmed hedgerows at the sloping vistas of patchwork fields in every shade from deep green to golden brown, scenic farmhouses, and winding rivers. The orderly landscape gave her a sense of peace, although she knew the gathering clouds meant afternoon rain, and she hoped she would reach her destination before it set in.

  More than six hours after leaving London, she arrived at the quaint seaside village. Even in the dull light, the village was enchanting. The car rattled over cobbled streets, where gaps in the rows of houses gave her glimpses of the picturesque harbor beyond. Ryan had directed her to drive through the village and along the cliff side road. The house was a couple of miles further, overlooking the sea.

  Pulling up outside the open gate, Cassie stared in amazement, because the house beyond was almost too perfect to be true. It felt like a place she’d always dreamed of living in. A simple yet gorgeous home, with sloping lines and wooden detail that blended harmoniously with its surroundings and reminded her of a ship moored in the harbor—only this building was nestled on a cliff, with an incredible view of the ocean beyond. The well-tended yard housed a swing and see-saw. Both were slightly rusty, and Cassie guessed the state of the equipment provided a clue about the children’s ages.

  Cassie glanced into the car’s mirror and checked her hair—the waves were sleek and shiny from her efforts early this morning, and her coral lipstick was immaculate.

  She parked on the cobblestone driveway and walked to the house along a pathway bordered by flower beds. Even at this time of year the beds were bright with yellow blossoms, and she recognized flowering honeysuckle planted beyond. In summer she guess
ed they would be a riot of color.

  The front door opened before she reached it.

  “Afternoon, Cassie. Good to meet you. I’m Ryan.”

  The man who greeted her was a head taller than her, fit-looking and surprisingly young, with tousled, sandy-brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was smiling, looking genuinely happy to see her, and he was wearing a faded Eminem T-shirt and a worn pair of jeans. She noticed a dishcloth was hooked into their waistband.

  “Hi, Ryan.”

  She took his outstretched hand. His grip was warm and firm.

  “You caught me in the middle of cleaning the kitchen, preparing for your arrival. The kettle’s boiled—are you a tea drinker? It’s such an English habit, I know, but there’s also coffee if you’d prefer.

  “I’d love some tea,” Cassie said, reassured by his down to earth welcome.

  As he closed the front door and led the way to the kitchen, she thought to herself that Ryan Ellis was very different from what she’d expected. He was friendlier than she’d thought he’d be, and she loved that he was prepared to clean the kitchen.

  Cassie remembered her arrival at her last au pairing assignment. As soon as she’d walked into the French chateau, she’d sensed the charged, ugly atmosphere of conflict. In this house, she didn’t pick that up at all.

  Walking over polished wooden floorboards, she was impressed by how tidy it looked. There were even fresh flowers on the hall table.

  “We spruced the place up for you,” Ryan said, as if reading her mind. “It hasn’t looked this good for months.”

  To her right, Cassie saw a family room with huge sliding doors leading onto a verandah. With comfortable-looking leather furniture and paintings of ships on the walls, the room appeared welcoming and tasteful. She couldn’t help but compare it with the ostentatious showroom décor of the chateau where she’d previously worked. It felt like a real family lived in this home.

  The kitchen was neat and clean, and Cassie noticed the quality of the appliances. The kettle, toaster, and food processor were a top brand. She recognized their bright designer patterns from an article she’d read in the in-flight magazine, and she remembered having been astonished by their price.