If She Saw Read online

  “Yes,” Clarissa said. “Us old married ladies need to live vicariously through you.”

  “And that also goes for your sort-of job,” Jane said. “How’s that going?”

  “No calls for about two weeks, and the last one was just to help with some research. Sorry, girls…it’s not as adventurous as you’re hoping it is.”

  “So are you back to being retired?” Clarissa asked.

  “Basically. It’s complicated.”

  That comment ended the questioning as they delved back into local topics—upcoming movies, a music festival in town, construction on the interstate, and so on. But Kate’s mind had gotten snagged on the topic of work. It was comforting to know that the bureau was still considering her as a resource but she had been hoping for a more active role after she had tied things up with the last case. But so far, she’d only heard from Deputy Director Duran a single time, and that was to get a performance review on DeMarco.

  She knew how strange it seemed to her friends that she was still technically an active agent while also leaning into her role as a grandmother. Hell, it was strange to her as well. Throw in a slowly blossoming relationship with Allen and she supposed her life was quite interesting to them.

  Honestly, she counted herself lucky. She’d be fifty-six years old at the end of the month and she knew that many women her age would be envious of the life she lived. She always told herself this when she felt the pressing need to be more active at work. And some days, it worked.

  And as it just so happened, with her granddaughter coming to visit for the first time since her birth, today was one of those days.

  ***

  One thing that made it difficult to balance her new role as grandmother with her desire to get her hands deep into another case was trying to think like a grandmother. That afternoon, she left her house and walked down to some of the thrifty little shops in the Carytown district of Richmond. She felt like she had to get Michelle a gift to celebrate her first overnight stay at Grandma’s house.

  It was hard to push sidearms and suspects aside to focus on stuffed animals and onesies instead. But as she checked out a few shops, it became somewhat easier. She found that she actually enjoyed shopping for her granddaughter, even though she wasn’t even two months old yet and would, honestly, not care about any gift she got. She found it hard not to snatch up every cute thing she found and buy it. After all, wasn’t it the responsibility of a grandmother to spoil her grandchildren?

  As she paid for her purchases at the third shop she visited, she received a text. She wasted no time in checking it. Over the last few weeks, she’d had a small hope every time she got a call or a text, thinking it might Duran or someone else within the bureau. She mentally scolded herself when she was disappointed to find that it was not the bureau, but Allen. Once she got over the sting of not being called upon by the bureau again, she realized that she was happy to hear from him—was always happy to hear from him, in fact.

  “Allen, you have to help me,” she joked as she answered the phone. “I’m shopping for Michelle and everything I see, I want to buy for her. Is that normal?”

  “I don’t know,” Allen said. “Neither of my sons have settled down and made me a grandpa yet.”

  “Take it from me. Start saving up.”

  Allen chuckled, a sound that Kate was growing to like quite a bit. “So tonight’s the big night, huh?”

  “It is. And I know I raised a kid already and I know what to expect, but I’m a little terrified.”

  “Ah, you’ll be great. You want to talk terrified…I’m going out with my boys for drinks tonight. And I haven’t had more than two drinks in a single sitting in about five years.”

  “Have fun with that.”

  “I was wondering if you might want to get together tomorrow for dinner. We can share our survival stories of tonight.”

  “I’d like that. You want to come by my place at seven or so?”

  “Sounds like a plan. You have fun tonight. Is little Michelle sleeping through the night yet?”

  “I don’t believe so.”

  “Ouch,” Allen said, and ended the call.

  Kate pocketed her phone, juggling her bags of purchases as she did. She smiled in spite of herself. She was standing in the sunshine in her favorite part of town, having just gone shopping for a two-month-old granddaughter, whom she was babysitting tonight. Given the way her day was going, did she really want the bureau to call at all?

  She was walking back to her home—a three-block walk from where she had taken Allen’s call—when she saw a little girl with a My Little Pony T-shirt. She was walking with her mother hand in hand, just a few feet ahead of her, traveling in their direction. She was five or six years old, her blonde hair up in a ponytail only a mother’s care could create. She had blue eyes and a sharp end to her nose that looked rather pixie-like. And it was that feature that sent a spike of despair through Kate’s heart.

  An image flashed through her mind, a little girl who looked almost identical to this one. But in this image, the little girl had dirt and grime on her face, and she was crying. The lights of police cars flashed behind her.

  The image was so strong that it caused Kate to stop walking for a moment. She tore her eyes away from the girl, not wanting to appear creepy or strange. She clung to that image in her head and did her best to find the memory associated with it. It came to her gradually and when it did, it unrolled itself slowly, as if she were reading the case report.

  Five-year-old girl, found three days after reported missing. Stored in a fishing cabin in Arkansas with the dead bodies of her parents. The parents were the fifth and sixth victims of a serial killer that had terrorized Arkansas for the better part of four months…a killer Kate had eventually taken down, but only after he had claimed a total of nine people.

  Kate was aware that she was suddenly standing as still as a statue on the street but couldn’t seem to move. That case had haunted her for a while. So many dead ends, so many false leads. She had been running around in circles, unable to find the killer while he continued to add to his body count. God only knew what he had planned for that little girl.

  But you saved her, she told herself. In the end, you saved her.

  Kate slowly started to walk again. It was not the first time a random image from her past work had slammed itself across her mind and caused her to zone out. Sometimes they came casually, albeit out of nowhere. But there were other times when they came on strong and fast, like a post-traumatic stress flashback.

  The image of the girl from Arkansas was somewhere in between. And Kate was thankful for that. That particular case had nearly caused her to step down as an agent back in 2009. It had been soul-shattering, enough for Kate to request two weeks off from work. And all of a sudden, for just a split second while walking back home with gifts for her granddaughter in her hand, Kate felt like she had been pushed back in time.

  Nearly ten years had passed since she had rescued that girl. Kate wondered where she was—wondered if she had outlived the trauma.

  “Ma’am?”

  Kate blinked, jumping a bit at the sound of an unfamiliar voice in front of her. There was a teenage boy standing in front her. He looked concerned, as if he wasn’t sure if he should be standing there or running away.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “You look…I don’t know. Sick. Like you’re about to pass out or something.”

  “No,” Kate said, shaking her head. “I’m good. Thanks.”

  The kid nodded and carried on his way. Kate started walking forward again, ripped out of some hole in the past that she assumed had not yet quite closed up. And as she drew closer and closer to home, she started to wonder just how many of those holes from her past had been left uncovered.

  And if the ghosts of her past would continue to haunt her until she, too, became a ghost.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Kate spent the next hour or so tidying up the house, even though she had already done so before leaving to go shopp
ing. It made her feel off to be so anxious to have Michelle coming to her house. Melissa had lived in this house during her high school years so when she came to visit (which wasn’t often enough in Kate’s opinion), Kate didn’t feel the need for the place to be spotless. So why was she so concerned about how it looked for a two-month-old?

  Maybe it’s some odd kind of grandmother nesting, she thought while she scrubbed the sink in the powder room…a room she was well aware that her granddaughter would not even see, much less actually use.

  As she rinsed the sink out, her doorbell rang. She was flooded with an excitement that she had not quite been ready for. She was smiling from ear to ear when she answered the door. Melissa stood on the other side, carrying Michelle in her car seat. The baby was fast asleep, a thick blanket tucked around her legs.

  “Hey, Mom,” Melissa said as she stepped into the house. She took a quick look around and rolled her eyes. “How much did you clean today?”

  “I plead the fifth,” Kate said as she gave her daughter a hug.

  Melissa set the car seat down carefully on the floor and slowly unbuckled Michelle. She picked her up and handed her softly to Kate. It had been almost a full week since Kate had visited Melissa and Terry, but when she took Michelle into her arms, it felt like much longer.

  “What do you and Terry have planned for tonight?” Kate asked.

  “Not much, really,” Melissa said. “And that’s the beauty of it. We’re going to go out for dinner and drinks. Maybe some dancing. Also, we changed our minds about asking you to watch her overnight because we realized we’re not quite ready for that. The unbroken sleep is much needed, but I just can’t be away from her for that long.”

  “Oh, I think I can understand that,” Kate said. “You guys go out and enjoy yourselves.”

  Melissa shrugged the diaper bag from her shoulder and set it by the car seat. “Everything you need is in here. She’s going to want to eat again in about an hour and she’d going to fight sleep. Terry thinks it’s cute but I think it’s of the devil. If she gets gassy, there are gas drops in the back pocket and—”

  “Lissa…we’ll be fine. I have raised a child, you know. She turned out pretty good, too.”

  Melissa smiled and surprised Kate by giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll pick her up around eleven or so. Is that too late?”

  “Nope, that’s perfect.”

  Melissa gave one final look to her baby, a look that made Kate’s heart swell. She could remember being a mother and having that internal feeling of love fill her—a love than translated to the sheer will of doing anything and everything to ensure this human you’d created would be safe.

  “If you need anything, call me,” Melissa said, though she was still looking at Michelle and not Kate.

  “I will. Now go. Have fun.”

  Melissa finally turned away and headed out the door. As she closed it, little Michelle stirred awake in Kate’s arms. She gave her grandmother a sleepy little smile and let out a tiny yawn.

  “So what do we do now?” Kate asked.

  The question was playfully directed at Michelle but she felt a weight behind it that made her wonder if she was simply voicing a rhetorical question to herself. Her daughter was grown up now, with a daughter of her own. Now here she was, nearing fifty-six and with her first grandchild in her arms. So…what do we do now?

  She thought about that pull to return to work in any capacity and, for perhaps the first time, it felt small.

  Smaller even than the little girl she now held in her arms.

  ***

  By eight o’clock that night, Kate was wondering if Melissa and Terry had simply managed to create the most well-behaved baby in recorded history. Not once did Michelle cry or even get fussy. She was simply content to be held. After two hours in Kate’s arms, Michelle nodded off to sleep. Kate carefully placed Michelle on the center of her queen-sized bed and then stood at the doorway for a moment to watch her granddaughter sleep.

  She wasn’t sure how long she had been standing there when her phone buzzed from the kitchen table behind her. She had to tear her eyes away from Michelle but managed to get to the phone within a few seconds. The single buzz meant that it was a text rather than a call and she was not at all surprised to see that it was Melissa.

  How’s she doing? Melissa asked.

  Unable to resist, Kate smiled and responded: I limited her to just three beers. She went out with some guy on a motorcycle about an hour ago. I told her to be back by 11.

  The response came quickly: Oh, you’re not funny at all.

  The back-and-forth banter made her nearly as happy as the sleeping baby in her bedroom. After her father died, Melissa had become withdrawn—especially toward Kate. She’d blamed Kate’s work for her father’s death and even though she had come to understand that was not the case later on in life, there were times when Kate felt that Melissa still resented the time she had spent in the bureau after his death. Oddly enough, though, Melissa had shown some interest in pursuing a career in the FBI herself…despite a less-than-positive attitude about the events of the last year concerning her mother’s interrupted retirement.

  Still smiling, Kate took her phone into the bedroom and snapped a quick picture of Michelle. She sent it to Melissa and then, after some thought, she also sent it to Allen, only his had the message: Partied out!

  She found herself wishing he was there with her. She found herself feeling this quite often as of late. She was not naïve enough to think she loved him, but she could see herself falling in love with him if things kept going the way they were. She missed him when he wasn’t around and whenever he kissed her, it made her feel about twenty years younger.

  She found herself smiling yet again when Allen responded with a picture of his own. It was a selfie of him with two younger men who looked exactly like him—his sons, presumably.

  As she studied the picture, her phone rang in her hands. The name that appeared on the screen sent a flurry of excitement through her that she was unable to stop.

  Deputy Director Vince Duran was calling her. This would have caused a stir of excitement regardless, but the fact that it was after eight o’clock on a Friday night set off alarm bells in her head—alarm bells that she enjoyed the sound of.

  She took a moment, still staring at little Michelle, and then answered. “This is Kate Wise,” she said, keeping her excitement in check.

  “Wise, it’s Duran. Is this a bad time?”

  “It’s not the absolute best, but that’s okay,” she answered. “Is everything okay?”

  “That depends. I’m calling to see if you’d be interested in taking on a case.”

  “Are we talking a cold case like we’ve been discussing?”

  “No. This one…well, it looks and feels like one you cracked rather quickly back in ninety-six. As it stands, we’ve got four bodies at two different sites in Whip Springs, Virginia. Looks like the murders occurred no more than two days apart. Right now, Virginia State Police are running the scene but I’ve spoken to them. If you want the case, it’s yours. But you’d have to move now.”

  “I don’t think I can,” she said. “I’ve got a commitment I need to keep.” Looking at Michelle, this was easy to say. But nearly every nerve in her body fought against her newly acquired grandmother instincts.

  “Well, listen to the specs anyway, would you? The murders are married couples, one in their early fifties, the other in their early sixties. The most recent were the fifty-somethings. Their daughter discovered their bodies when she came home from college earlier today. The murders occurred within thirty miles of one another, one in Whip Springs and the other one just outside of Roanoke.”

  “Couples? Any link between them other than they were married?”

  “Not yet. But all four bodies were cut up pretty badly. The killer is using a knife. Making it slow and methodical. As far as I’m concerned, it points to another couple going down within two days or so.”

  “Yeah, it so
unds like a serial in the making,” Kate said.

  She thought back to the case in 1996 that Duran had mentioned. In the end, a crazed woman who had been working as a nanny had taken the lives of three couples within the span of just two days. It turned out that she had worked for all three of the couples within a ten-year period. Kate had apprehended the woman when she was on the way to kill a fourth couple and then, according to her testimony, herself.

  Was she really going to say no to this? After the intense flashback she’d had today, could she truly pass up another opportunity at stopping a killer?

  “How long do I have to think about it?” she asked.

  “I’ll give you an hour. No more than that. I need someone on this now. And I thought you and DeMarco could work well on it. One hour, Wise…sooner if you can.”

  Before she could give an OK or a thanks, Duran ended the call. He was typically warm and friendly, but when he did not get his way he could be very irritable.

  As quietly as she could, she went to the bed and sat down on the edge. She watched Michelle sleeping, the gentle rise and fall of her chest so slow and methodical. She could clearly remember Melissa being this small and had no idea where the time had gone. And that was where her problem sprung from: she felt that she had missed so much of her life as a mother and wife because of her job but she felt a strong duty to it nonetheless. Especially when she knew that she could be out there right now, doing her part to bring a killer to justice.

  What kind of a person would she be if she turned the offer down, leaving Duran to choose another agent who might not have the same skillsets as she did?

  But what kind of grandmother and mother was she being if she had to call Melissa, telling her to come pick up her daughter early and end her night out because the FBI had come calling again?

  Kate stared at Michelle for about five minutes, even lying down next to her and placing her hand on the baby’s chest just to feel her breathe. And seeing that little flicker of life, of a life that had not yet learned about the kinds of evil that existed in the world, made the decision much easier for Kate.