Cul de Sac Read online

  But at the same time, she had a small yearning to go to him. Maybe to even hug him. There was no denying that seeing him here, out in the open and free, stirred up a huge range of emotions within her.

  She didn’t dare move a step closer, though. She didn’t trust him and, worse than that, she did not fully trust herself.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Just wanted to come by and visit,” he said, getting to his feet.

  A million questions swirled through her head. Chief among them was how he had found out where she lived. But she knew that anyone with an internet connection and stubborn determination could figure that out. Instead, she tried to be civil without being warm and inviting.

  “How long have you been out?” she asked.

  “A week and a half. I had to work up the nerve to come see you.”

  She recalled the phone call she had made to Director Johnson when she had found that last piece of evidence two months ago—evidence that had apparently been more than enough to free her father. And now here he was. Because of her efforts. She wondered if he even knew what she had done for him.

  “And this is exactly why I waited,” he said. “This…this silence between us. It’s awkward and unfair and…”

  “Unfair? Dad, you’ve been in prison for most of my life…for a crime I now know you weren’t guilty of but didn’t seem to mind taking the fall for. Yes, it’s going to be awkward. And given the reason for your incarceration and the last few conversations we’ve had, I hope you understand if I don’t come to you, dancing and tossing flowers your way.”

  “I absolutely get that. But…there’s so much time we’ve missed. You might be unable to feel that yet, being so young. But those years I wasted in prison, knowing what I sacrificed…time with you and Danielle…my own life…”

  “You sacrificed those things for Ruthanne Carwile,” Chloe spat. “That was your choice.”

  “It was. And it’s a regret I’ve had to live with for nearly twenty-five years.”

  “So what do you want?” she asked.

  She moved toward him and then past him, toward her door. It took more willpower than she thought to pass by him, to be that close to him.

  “I was hoping we could grab dinner.”

  “Just like that?”

  “We have to start somewhere, Chloe.”

  “No, actually we don’t.” She opened her door and turned back to him, looking him in the eyes for the first time. Her stomach was in knots and she was doing everything she could not to get emotional in front of him. “I need you to leave. And please don’t ever come back.”

  He looked genuinely hurt but his eyes never left hers. “Do you really mean that?”

  She wanted to say yes, but what came out of her mouth was “I don’t know.”

  “Let me know if you change your mind. I have a place in—”

  “I don’t want to know,” she interrupted. “If I want to get in touch, I’ll find you.”

  He gave her a thin smile, but there was still some pain there. “Ah, that’s right. Working with the FBI now.”

  And what happened with you and Mom is what led me down that path, she thought.

  “Bye, Dad,” she said, and stepped through the door.

  When it closed behind her, she did not bother looking back. Instead, she made it to the elevator as quickly as she could without appearing as if she were in a hurry. When the doors slid closed behind her and the elevator started going up, Chloe pressed her hands to her face and started to cry.

  ***

  She stared into her closet, thinking very hard about calling Moulton and letting him know that she couldn’t make it tonight after all. She wouldn’t tell him the real reason why—that her father had gotten out of prison after spending twenty-three years there and had suddenly showed up on her doorstep. Certainly he’d understand the trauma of that, right?

  But she decided that she was not going to let her father ruin her life. His shadow had hovered over far too much of her life already. And even something as small as canceling a date because of his presence was giving him too much power over her.

  She called Moulton’s number and when it went to voicemail, she left her suggestion for a dinner spot. With that done, she took a quick shower and got dressed. As she was slipping into a pair of pants, her cell phone rang. She saw Moulton’s name on the display and her mind went to the worst scenarios first.

  He’s changed his mind. He’s calling to cancel.

  She actually believed this until the moment she answered the phone. “Hello?”

  “So yeah, Japanese sounds good,” Moulton said. “Now, maybe you can tell because of the extreme lack of detail and follow-through, but I don’t do this much. So I don’t know if I come pick you up or if we just meet there…?”

  “Pick me up, if you don’t mind,” she said, again thinking of the ragged state of her car. “There’s a pretty good place not too far from here.”

  “Sounds good,” he said. “See you then.”

  …I don’t do this much. Even though he’d admitted such a thing, Chloe still found it hard to believe.

  She finished getting dressed, fussed with her hair a bit, and waited for a knock on the door.

  Maybe it’ll be your father again, she told herself. Although really, if she was being honest, it wasn’t her own voice that was speaking to her. It was Danielle’s voice, condescending and confident.

  I wonder if she knows he’s out yet, Chloe thought. My God, she’ll be absolutely furious.

  She didn’t have time to dwell on this, though. Before she could, there was a knock at the door. For one paralyzing moment, she was sure it was her father. It made her freeze for a second, unwilling to answer it. But then she recalled how Moulton had been just as uncomfortable as she had been outside of the shooting range and she realized just how badly she wanted to see him—especially after the way the last few hours of her life had gone.

  She answered the door, putting on her best smile. Moulton had one of his own. Maybe it was because they rarely saw one another outside of work, but Chloe found his smile sexy as hell. It also helped that while he had dressed rather plain—a button-down shirt and a pair of nice jeans—he looked incredibly handsome.

  “Ready?” he said.

  “Absolutely,” she said.

  She closed the door behind her and they headed out into the hallway. Once again, there was that perfectly still silence between them, one that made her wish they were a bit further along. Even something as simple and innocent as him reaching out to hold her hand…she needed something.

  And it was that simple need for human contact that showed her just how much she had been rocked by her father showing up.

  It’s only going to get worse now that he’s out of prison, she thought as she and Moulton took the elevator down to the lobby.

  But she was not going to let him ruin this date.

  She pushed all thoughts of her father out of her mind as she and Moulton stepped out into a warm evening. And to her surprise, it actually worked.

  For a while.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The Japanese restaurant she had selected was a hibachi grill–type place, with the big open stovetops to allow large groups to sit around and watch the cooks perform their artistry. Chloe and Moulton opted for a table in the quiet, more private area of the restaurant. When they were both seated, she was pleased to find that it felt natural to be in a setting like this with him. Physical attraction aside, she had liked Moulton from the first moment she had met him. He had been the one shining light in a day where she had been switched from the Evidence Response Team to the Violent Crimes Program. And here he was, still making awkward moments in her life more bearable.

  She didn’t want to ruin the night with such conversation, but she also knew that if she didn’t get it off her chest, it would be a needless distraction.

  “So,” Moulton said, picking at the corners of his menu as he opened it. “It wasn’t odd that I asked
you out?”

  “I’m sure it depends on who you ask,” she answered. “Director Johnson might not think it’s the best idea. However, in keeping with honesty,” she said, “I’ve kind of been hoping you’d ask.”

  “Ah, so you’re a traditionalist? You wouldn’t have asked me out? You would have waited for me to ask?”

  “It’s not so much being a traditionalist as it is being scarred from a past relationship. Which I supposed I may as well let you in on. Up until about seven months ago, I was engaged.”

  The shock on his face was only momentary. Fortunately, she saw no fear or awkwardness there. Before he could comment on this, the waitress came by to take their drink orders. They both ordered a Sapporo, placing the orders quickly, as not to let the momentum of their conversation stall out.

  “Can I ask why it fell apart?” Moulton asked.

  “It’s a long story. The condensed version of it is that the guy was overbearing and couldn’t separate himself from the shadow of his family—his mother in particular. And when I suddenly had a career with the FBI sitting right there in front of me, he wasn’t very supportive. He also wasn’t at all supportive of my own family issues…”

  It then occurred to her that he probably knew about some of her family history. When she had gone digging it up near the end of her training, she was well aware that it had made the rounds of the academy grapevine.

  “Yeah, I heard bits and pieces about that…”

  He let the comment hang. Chloe took that to mean that if she wanted to tell him about it, he would listen. But if she’d rather not go there, he was fine with that, too. And at the moment, with everything that was on her mind, she figured it was now or never. No sense in waiting, she thought.

  “While I’ll spare you the details for some later day, I guess I should let you know that I saw my father today.”

  “So he’s out now?”

  “Yes. And I think it’s mostly because of discoveries I made about my mother’s death over the last several months.”

  It took Moulton a while to figure out where to go from there. He, too, used sipping from his beer as a method of taking his time. When he had a large gulp of it down, he replied with the best answer he could have.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I think so. It was just very unexpected.”

  “Chloe, we didn’t have to go out tonight. I would have understood if you called it off.”

  “I almost did. But I didn’t see the point in giving him control over yet another part of my life.”

  He nodded and they both took the silence that followed as a time to look over their menus. The silence remained between them until the same waitress came back to take their orders. When she was gone, Moulton leaned across the table a bit and asked: “Do you want to talk about it, or are we ignoring it?”

  “You know, I think I’d rather just ignore it for now. Just be aware that there might be times tonight where I might be distracted.”

  He smiled and slowly got up from his chair. “That’s fair. But let me try something, if that’s okay.”

  “What?...”

  He took a large step toward her, bent down a bit, and kissed her. She jerked back at first, unsure of what he was doing. But when she realized his intent, she let it happen. Not only that, but she kissed him back. It was soft but with just enough urgency to give her the idea that he had been thinking about this probably as long as she had.

  He broke the kiss before it started to get uncomfortable; they were, after all, sitting in a restaurant surrounded by other people. And Chloe had never been one for public displays of affection.

  “Not that I’m complaining,” she said, “but what was that for?”

  “Two things. It was me being brave…something I am rarely able to do with a woman. And it was also me giving you another distraction…hopefully one that can outweigh the distraction of your father.”

  With her head swimming a bit and warmth radiating through her entire body, she sighed. “Yeah, I think that might just have done it.”

  “Good,” he said. “Also, I suppose it negates the whole are we supposed to kiss at the end of this date nonsense that I always screw up.”

  “Oh, after that one, we better,” she said.

  And, as Moulton had hoped, thoughts of her father’s sudden appearance seemed very distant.

  ***

  Dinner went much better than she could have hoped. Once they wrestled around the topic of her father showing up and then continued onward after Moulton’s unexpected kiss, it went very smoothly. They talked about learning the ins and outs of the bureau, music, movies, acquaintances and stories from their time at the academy, their interests and hobbies. It felt natural in a way she had not been expecting.

  Sadly, it made her wish she’d gotten rid of Steven sooner. If this was what she had missed out on by taking herself off of the dating scene for him, she had missed out on a lot.

  They’d finished eating but stuck around for a few more drinks. It was another opportunity for Moulton to display his care and affection as he stopped at two drinks while Chloe had a third. He even asked if she’d feel more comfortable taking a cab if she was uncomfortable with him getting behind the wheel.

  He took her back to her apartment, pulling up to the curb a little after ten o’clock. She was far from drunk but had a nice enough buzz going to wonder about things she might not otherwise entertain.

  “I had a great time,” Moulton said. “I’d like to do it again very soon if you don’t think it will get in the way of work.”

  “Me, too. Thanks for finally asking me.”

  “Thanks for saying yes.”

  Never one to claim she was a master at the art of seduction, she responded to that comment by leaning in and kissing him. Like the kiss in the restaurant, it started slow but then started to build. His hand was suddenly on the side of her face, slipping down to the back of her neck to pull her closer. The armrest was between them and she found herself tilting her body to allow her hand to find his chest.

  She wasn’t sure how long the kiss went on. It was slow and wildly romantic. When they parted, Chloe found herself slightly out of breath.

  “So, we’ve already covered the fact that I never really got to date,” she said. “So if I do this next part wrong, you’ll have to forgive me.”

  “What part?”

  She hesitated a moment but the three drinks urged her on. “I want to invite you in. I’d make the claim that it’s for coffee or another drink, but that would be a lie.”

  Moulton looked genuinely surprised. It was a look that made her wonder if he had misread her. “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “That sounded bad,” she said, embarrassed. “What I meant was…I’d like to do this without an armrest between us. But I’m not…I’m not going to sleep with you.”

  Even in the dim light, she could see his face redden at this comment. “I never would have expected you to.”

  She nodded, a little embarrassed herself. “So…do you want to come in?”

  “I really, really do.”

  With that, he kissed her. This time, it was a bit more playful. In the midst of it, he elbowed the armrest in jest.

  She broke away from him and opened her door. As they walked to the stoop of her building, she could not remember the last time she’d felt herself so…so floaty.

  Floaty, she thought with a smile. It was a word Danielle had once used in explaining what it felt like to come down off of the physical high of an orgasm. The memory suddenly had Chloe feeling warm all over, reaching out and taking Moulton’s hand as they entered the building.

  They took the elevator and when the doors closed, Chloe surprised herself by pressing him against the elevator wall and kissing him. Now able to properly place her hands on him, she grabbed him by his waist and pulled him to her. This kiss was a bit more passionate, hinting at so much more she wanted to do to him in that moment.

  He was just as eager, his hands finding the small of her back. W
hen he pressed her closer to him and their bodies met, she let out the tiniest of gasps. It was a little embarrassing.

  The elevator came to a stop and she pulled away. She could only imagine the looks on the faces of the people she shared the building with if they caught her making out in an elevator. She was relieved to find that Moulton looked a little out of sorts and was breathing a little heavily.

  She led him down the hallway, four doors down to her apartment. It then occurred to her that other than Danielle, Moulton would be the only person to have visited her apartment.

  It’s a shame I don’t plan on wasting time with a tour, she thought.

  It was yet another thought that made her feel a little embarrassed. She had never felt quite this physically needy when it came to a man. After a while, sex had become this formulaic, expected thing with Steven. And if she was being honest with herself, the times she had been left satisfied had been few and far between. And because of that, she hadn’t really had much of a desire for any sort of intimacy with him.

  Chloe unlocked the door and they stepped inside. She flipped on the kitchen light and hung her purse on one of the barstools.

  “How long have you been here?” Moulton asked.

  “Six months or so, I guess. I don’t really have much company.”

  Moulton stepped to her and placed a hand at her waist. When they leaned in and kissed, it was slow and purposeful. It only took a few moments before he gently pressed her against the bar and their kiss deepened. Chloe felt herself growing breathless again, feeling a level of desire she had not felt since becoming intimate with a boy for the first time in high school.

  She broke the kiss long enough to lead him to the couch, where they sat next to one another and immediately continued. It felt good to simply be with a man in such a way, especially one who made her feel like this. If she included the portion of her relationship with Steven where physical intimacy had practically gone cold, she had not been kissed and touched by a man like this in about a year and a half.