ONCE LOST Read online

  Whatever it might mean to her career, she was on her way to DC for a good purpose—perhaps even a noble one.

  She was going to help a dear friend in a time of need.

  As she looked back over her life, she realized that her priority had almost always been to take care of people.

  She smiled at the thought.

  A caregiver.

  It was a word she’d never connected with herself somehow.

  And yet, wasn’t caregiving at the root of even her detective work? How many lives had she saved because of the criminals she stopped?

  She’d been a protector and helper of people in need all along.

  It seemed to come naturally to her—so naturally that she’d never really thought about it before.

  It was an instinct that had kicked in when she found Jilly in that parking lot and decided to take care of her.

  It had kicked in again when Liam needed to get away from his abusive father.

  And it was kicking in right now, urging her to hurry to a friend’s aid, heedless of the consequences to herself.

  She almost laughed as a thought dawned on her.

  Taking care of people.

  Wasn’t that what women were expected to do?

  She’d never thought of herself as fitting any kind of conventional image. But then, she was hardly a stereotypical docile female.

  She had her own style of caregiving—one that often involved being as hard as nails and kicking serious ass.

  She realized she was tired, and started to drift off to sleep.

  It’s a pretty good life, she thought drowsily.

  And maybe it could even be a pretty good life if she lost her job.

  But as she fell asleep, a dark thought occurred to her.

  She was still bound to one nemesis, one threat that could destroy everything and everyone she loved.

  That nemesis was Shane Hatcher.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Riley awakened when the plane landed at Reagan International Airport. She shook her head to clear her mind of dark dreams she couldn’t quite remember. She was sure she had dreamed something about Hatcher, but he wasn’t what really concerned her right now.

  She rented a car and drove straight to Mike Nevins’s office and clinic in DC. She hurried into the building, but when she walked into Mike’s office, the reception room was empty and silent.

  She was hit by a moment of panic.

  Has something happened? she wondered. Did Bill even get here?

  Then she remembered—it was Sunday. Mike’s receptionist and most of the staff wouldn’t be working. Mike himself wouldn’t usually be here on Sunday. The building was just open for the minimal clinic activity that would normally go on today.

  Nervously, she knocked on Mike’s office door.

  Mike opened the door. Riley was relieved to see that Bill was sitting on his office couch.

  Mike looked his usual self—a dapper, rather fussy man wearing an expensive shirt with a vest. Riley found it hard to believe that she’d awakened him in the wee hours of the morning and that he’d come straight here from home. But she knew that Mike was like that—perfectly groomed no matter what the circumstances.

  By contrast, Bill looked like a wreck. He hadn’t shaved and was wearing an undershirt and tattered jeans—the same clothes he must have been wearing when Riley had talked to him on the phone. Not surprisingly, the medics who had picked him up had given him no time to change.

  Mike sat back down in his chair without saying a word to her. She couldn’t tell from his expression whether or not he was glad to see her.

  She had a feeling that Mike wasn’t sure either.

  There was no such mystery about Bill’s reaction. He looked up at her and grumbled, “What the hell are you doing here, Riley?”

  “Shut up, Bill,” Riley said in a gentle voice.

  She sat down on the couch with him and patted his hand.

  “You could lose your job,” Bill said.

  “I don’t care,” Riley said.

  Bill took hold of her hand and swallowed hard with emotion.

  “How are you doing?” Riley asked him.

  “I don’t know,” Bill said. “Ask the doctor.”

  Riley looked over at Mike, who was smiling ever so slightly.

  Mike said, “We’re working through some issues. He’ll pull through this.”

  Riley didn’t know how to delicately ask the question she wanted to ask.

  She said tentatively to Mike, “Does he … have to …?”

  Mike’s eyes twinkled. He seemed to understand Riley’s question.

  “I don’t think he needs to be hospitalized or anything like that,” he said. “I just want to keep working with him for a while. Then he can go home.”

  The three of them sat in awkward silence for a few moments.

  Riley wished she could have just a few minutes alone with Bill.

  Seeming to realize this, Mike stood up and nodded silently. He walked out the door.

  A single sob rose up in Bill’s throat.

  “Riley, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

  Despite her own surge of emotion, Riley told herself not to cry. Bill didn’t need her to fall apart right now.

  “It’s OK,” she said, squeezing his hand. “You’re in good hands with Mike.”

  Bill shook his head.

  “Mike keeps saying I’ll get through this. But I just feel so overwhelmed. The whole thing with Maggie and the kids … it just hit me out of nowhere. I mean, on top of how I feel about Lucy and the kid I shot … it just seems like too much.”

  Riley found herself remembering dark days of her own, when she’d been put on leave after being held captive in a cage by a murderous psychopath. She, too, had wondered if she would ever be able to go back to work.

  Mike and Bill had both helped her pull through that awful time.

  Now it was her turn to do the same for Bill.

  “It’s not too much,” she said quietly. “Not for you, Bill. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known.”

  Bill’s voice dropped to a whisper.

  “The worst of it is … I let you down.”

  Riley knew right away what he was talking about. Riley had asked him to watch out for her family now that Shane Hatcher was at large. And Bill had made a promise …

  “I’ll keep an eye on things. I need to do something useful.”

  But here he was, not doing what he’d said he was going to do.

  Riley knew better than to gloss over his failure. That would be dishonest, and she mustn’t be dishonest with Bill—not if she could possibly help it.

  A little toughness was needed.

  “You’re right—you did let me down. That’s one reason you’ve got to pull out of this. I’ve got to be able to count on you.”

  Bill gazed at her with deep concern.

  “How is your family?” he asked. “Is everybody safe?”

  Riley hastily tried to remember—when had she last communicated with anybody at home?

  Then she remembered the messages she had exchanged with April last night. She hoped nothing had changed since then.

  “Everybody’s fine, Bill,” she said. “And with agents like Craig Huang and Bud Wigton on the lookout, I shouldn’t have to worry. But I worry anyway. I’m going to have to fly back to Des Moines ASAP, and it will be out of my hands again. That’s why I need for you to keep checking in.”

  Bill nodded.

  “I’ll do that,” he said. “As soon as I get out of here, I’ll do that.”

  Riley and Bill fell silent. The silence felt oddly comforting, reminiscent of how easy their relationship had long since become.

  Then the text Bill had sent her in the wee hours of the morning flashed through Riley’s mind again.

  “Sitting here with a gun in my mouth.”

  Riley spoke haltingly.

  “Bill, when you … sent me that text, you … you have no idea how …”

  Bill si
ghed.

  “You were scared. I know. I’m sorry. That was awful of me. But …”

  He paused, as if trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say.

  “I talked with Mike about that text. I asked him why the hell I’d ever do something like that. He pointed out something really important. If I’d really meant to … you know, shoot myself, I’d never have sent you that message. Just by reaching out to you, I was telling myself that suicide wasn’t an option.”

  Bill paused again.

  Then he said, “You’re my lifeline, Riley. As long as you’re there, I’ll never take that option. As much as anything or anyone else in my life, you keep me rooted in the world, in my life.”

  Riley felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She hastily brushed it away.

  She felt truly overwhelmed now—overwhelmed both by the staggering responsibility of what she meant to Bill, and how wonderful it felt to be so needed.

  For a fleeting moment, she felt as though her life made complete sense.

  She truly mattered in the world—not just to Bill, but to everyone she loved and cared for.

  She let go of Bill’s hand and patted it again.

  She said, “I’d better go and let you and Mike get back to work.”

  Bill smiled.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” he said. “Thanks for everything.”

  Riley walked out of the office. Mike stood waiting in his front room with his hands in his pockets.

  He smiled and said, “He’s going to be all right, Riley.”

  Riley simply nodded.

  Then Mike said, “Thanks for coming.”

  Riley was surprised. She had doubted that Mike really approved of her coming here.

  She shrugged and said, “I wasn’t able to do much.”

  “You did more than you know,” Mike said. “He needed to see you. The only reason I didn’t ask you to come when you called was … well, I knew you were working on a case. I didn’t want to get you into trouble.”

  Riley chuckled a little.

  She said, “Trouble’s my middle name, I guess. I’m pretty much used to it.”

  Mike looked worried now.

  “Riley, if anybody at the FBI asks me if you showed up here …”

  His voice trailed off. Riley understood what he wanted to ask.

  “Don’t lie about it, Mike. Not for my sake. I’ll deal with the consequences if I have to.”

  She thanked Mike again and went out to her car. She knew she had to fly back to Des Moines as soon as she could. But first she wanted to check things at home. She had her return ticket and knew the plane schedule. She had time to drive home, say hello, give everyone a hug, and drive back to the airport again. She hoped to slip back into Angier, Iowa, before anybody except Jenn realized that she’d been gone.

  *

  As Riley neared her house, she was seized by a wave of panic.

  When she’d last been here, an FBI vehicle with two crack agents and high-tech equipment had been parked on the street. They’d been staked out here in the expectation of catching Shane Hatcher, and that had also provided her family with real protection.

  Now the van wasn’t anywhere in sight. In its place she saw a modest sedan.

  Riley could tell by its license plates, antenna clusters, and tinted windows that it was an unmarked police car.

  Where is the van? she asked herself. Where is the FBI?

  And what about the second van that had been parked in the alley behind her house?

  Had something terrible happened?

  Riley pulled into her driveway, jumped out of the car, and ran to her front door. As soon as she unlocked it and rushed inside she heard a scream,

  “Help me! Why won’t you help me!”

  It’s Jilly! she thought. And she’s in trouble!

  CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

  Riley heard Jilly scream again …

  “I said help me!”

  Now Riley could tell where the voice was coming from.

  Riley put her hand on her gun, then rushed frantically through the house and yanked open the door to the family room.

  She froze in her tracks at what she saw.

  Jilly, April, and Liam were all in there, looking perfectly safe and sound.

  Liam was sitting in a beanbag chair wearing headphones and reading a book.

  April seemed to be trying to read a textbook of her own, but Jilly was pacing back and forth in front of her waving her arms.

  “What kind of big sister are you?” Jilly yelled.

  April grumbled, “I’ve got homework of my own. I can’t do yours too.”

  “I’m not asking you to do my homework!” Jilly said. “I’m just asking for some help! It’s not like I ever ask you for all that much.”

  “You’re always asking for something,” April said. “Do your own homework.”

  Riley let out a gasp of exasperated relief.

  “You kids scared me half to death,” she said.

  Still listening to his headphones, Liam seemed to be oblivious that anything was happening.

  The girls looked at Riley with wide-eyed alarm.

  “Mom!” April said.

  “Are you going to shoot us or what?” Jilly asked.

  It took Riley a moment to realize that she still had her hand on her gun.

  She let her hand drop to her side and slumped into the nearest chair, trying to catch her breath.

  “I heard screaming,” she said. “I thought something was wrong.”

  Jilly was still quite agitated.

  “Well, there is something wrong! April won’t help me with my math!”

  Riley let out a groan of irritation.

  Teenagers! she thought.

  Liam had finally noticed that Riley was here. He took off his headphones.

  “Hey, what are you doing home?” he asked.

  Riley didn’t feel like explaining what had happened with Bill. Besides, she was worried about the van that had disappeared.

  Just then Gabriela hurried into the room.

  “Señora Riley! We hadn’t expected you home so soon!”

  Riley asked Gabriela, “What happened to the van out front? Is the one in the alley gone too?”

  “Sí, they both left, just this morning. Now there are two nice policemen out in front. They came in to introduce themselves. They didn’t say why the vans went away. They just told us all they’d be right outside and there was no need to worry.”

  Riley suppressed a sigh.

  No need to worry!

  Something had happened, and she didn’t know what it was. Had they pulled off the vans because Hatcher was in custody?

  But of course not, she realized, because then they wouldn’t have put a car out there.

  “Mom!” Jilly demanded her attention. She was standing there with crossed arms, tapping one foot.

  Riley looked back at her younger daughter.

  “Mom, would you please tell April to help me with my homework?”

  “Huh-uh,” April said. “I always end up doing all the work.”

  Riley felt overwhelmed. She didn’t know why the vans were gone, and she had a plane to catch in just a little while. And now her two girls were arguing over homework.

  It was enough to make her want to scream.

  But now was no time to make even more of a scene out of this situation.

  She turned to Liam and said, “Do you think you can help straighten this thing out between April and Jilly?”

  “Straighten what out?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.”

  Riley said, “Jilly says she needs help with math, and April doesn’t want to help her.”

  Liam grinned, obviously pleased to be called upon to help.

  “Gladly,” he said. Then he said to Jilly, “Bring your homework over here. Let’s see what we can do.”

  Jilly stuck out her tongue at April, who made a face back at her. Then Jilly crouched down beside Liam and showed him the problem that was
giving her trouble.

  Riley drew a breath of relief as Liam started explaining the problem.

  Gabriela asked Riley, “Will you be here for dinner?”

  Riley shook her head.

  “I’m sorry, and I know this sounds crazy, but I’ve got to fly right back to Des Moines.”

  Gabriela looked puzzled, but she headed back to the kitchen without asking any questions.

  Riley checked her watch. Time was getting tight, and she didn’t have much time to find out what had happened to the vans. She went outside and walked over to the sedan that was parked there. The two uniformed cops sitting inside smiled at her and rolled down the window.

  Just a couple of patrol cops, Riley realized. Not even full detectives.

  They certainly didn’t inspire her with any confidence.

  “Hey, guys,” she said. “I’m Riley Paige, and I live here.”

  The cop in the passenger street said, “Yeah, we recognized you from the picture the FBI gave us. I’m Officer Maddox, and this is my partner Officer Carney.”

  Carney waved at Riley from the driver’s side.

  “We’re surprised to see you,” he said. “We’d heard you were in Iowa working on a case.”

  Riley reminded herself that she wasn’t supposed to be here. So what should she say?

  She almost smiled when she realized …

  Why not the truth?

  She said, “Yeah, something came up here. I’m headed right back to Iowa, though. Nobody’s supposed to know I’m here, so … keep this quiet, OK?”

  The officers nodded, obviously thinking that Riley was back on some official secret business.

  She said, “When I left here, there were vans in front and back of the house with FBI agents and equipment. What happened?”

  The officers glanced at each other.

  Then Maddox said, “The guys in the vans went down to Norfolk.”

  Riley felt a twinge of surprise.

  “Norfolk?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” Carney said. “Shane Hatcher was sighted there just this morning. They think he’s holed up in an apartment building.”

  Riley almost gasped.

  “Hatcher’s in Norfolk?” she asked. “Are they sure?”

  “Positive,” Maddox said. “A local cop spotted him, identified him from an FBI bulletin. He even got a good picture of him.”